Language Expeditions

You don’t really know how you’re going to deal with something until you’re in it.

I remember being dropped off at the Atlanta airport by my parents and hugging them one last time before boarding the plane. I cried because I knew it was the last time I’d see them for a while, at that time only two months until we came back for my cousin’s wedding and nephew’s birthday, but then again for another 8 months. The weeks leading up to the move were filled with lots of joy, sadness, stress, grief, loss, excitement, anxiety, gratitude, and fear. In a span of 6 weeks we had lost 2 family members and one friend to their battles of cancer. Praise God that the end of their battle meant the beginning of eternity in heaven and freedom from their illnesses and pain. The second weekend in Korea was full of grief and processing the whirlwind that was the season of transition and change. We had great times with family and friends as we had fellowship, said our goodbyes, and prepared for the journey that was going to be our season in Korea. 

Once we passed customs I got a rush of excitement for the adventure. I was excited to take on this new adventure with my wife and embrace the growth that was to be before us. All of the prayers, conversations, my personal freak outs about moving overseas and big change in general led to this moment. Anybody that knows me well knows that I’m very much a Type A person. I like to know what’s happening, why it’s happening, what it’s going to be like, and for how long. Part of my prayer before coming to Korea and even so now as we’ve been here has been for God to help me trust him with what’s 5 feet in front of me and not to lose myself to my ideal of having a 30,000 foot view. I can confidently say that God has met Elizabeth and me every inch of the way. There have been moments and days where we’ve wanted to quit, pack up everything, and come back home. We’ve doubted in some moments if this was the right decision and if we regretted selling most of what we have. 

There have been some financial, personal, interpersonal, emotional, and spiritual struggles that we have faced and battled through. With me working completely remote I’ve had to work a little more at building a sense of community here. Thankfully, Elizabeth helped me get connected to her coworkers at her school and it’s been a blessing to get to know them as well as our church family at Jubilee in Seoul. I had a big fear of loneliness when transitioning here and I will be honest there have been some lonely moments due to a massive language barrier, not working in the presence of coworkers, having friends and family nearby, and Elizabeth and myself working opposite work schedules. However, experiences are what you make them. I can’t expect everybody in the city to cater to me like our church family back home was so kind to do with translation help. The effort to learn the language is in my hands and I have to apply myself. I knew that I could either focus on who or what wasn’t here, or I could embrace who and what is here and make the most of that. In changing this perspective I’ve been able to develop a deeper confidence within myself, growth in my marriage, and intense growth in my relationship and faith in God. It is a humbling experience whenever you’re separated from everything and everyone you’ve relied on and depended on for comfort to the point where God and your spouse are all you have to lean on. 

Some of my biggest takeaways from living abroad are getting experience of being the foreigner, learning how to live everyday life in various places, and that life abroad can oftentimes be similar to life at home with slight variations. One of the biggest humbling moments as a foreigner was during one of our first few weeks here when we went to a Korean cooking class that teaches foreigners Korean. We were super excited because we wanted to learn how to make Korean food and learn more of the language. When we walked in and got there it was more of an intermediate level class instead of a beginner level class that was closer to what we needed. I felt overwhelmed, sad, and very insecure. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, it was just unmet expectations and a struggle to adapt to the reality as it was at that moment. I knew that my Korean fluency was very little and it was in that I realized just how microscopic it is. That insecurity stuck with me for the rest of the day and weekend and I eventually had to get to a place of giving myself grace for not knowing what I didn’t know. Don’t hold yourself to master standards if you’re only a rookie. The first few months we were tired, anxious, confused, and struggling. After a few months of finding our normal and being able to stabilize in that we now feel confident to travel and maneuver however we want to in order to continue pursuing our goals and making incredible memories.

We have experienced some acts of racism but we’ve also experienced great hospitality by some. We’ve been ignored and we have been embraced, humiliated, and uplifted. During times of loneliness and despair, God has provided the people and interactions that have helped restore our hope and motivation for continuing on. A small example for me was one day when I was walking home from the gym feeling discouraged and fatigued with life as a foreigner with little understanding of the language and therefore little ability to connect with others. I was missing home pretty bad and wanted to go back and be around my comfort zone, friends, and family.  I stopped by the nearby grocery mart to get a few things and a woman working there spoke to me in English asking my name. She introduced her name as “Sunny 1” because there was another woman there who was also named Sunny, known as “Sunny 2”. That brief interaction restored my hope needed for that day and brightened my spirit more than she’ll ever know. Sometimes one of the most helpful and uplifting things you can do to foreigners is to try speaking with them in their native language. 

In February of this year I had the honor to volunteer as a counselor at a Footstool Member Care Retreat where missionaries and their families from all over Asia came to be ministered to and have their cups filled. It was a blessing to get to see people in person for counseling again as well as a breath of fresh air to see couples be intentional on checking in with one another regarding the state of their marriages. There were no massive dire circumstances, just people who love God and each other having whatever conversations needed to continue to meet the needs of the family and prioritize the marriage at the same time. It was during this retreat that I really felt a sense of greater and deeper purpose in my involvement and time in Korea. There have been several opportunities I’ve come across to work with foreigners here providing counseling. I prayed that if it was God’s will for me to work here overseas that he would give me confirmation one way or another to help make the decision to do so. However, after lots of prayer and seeking God I felt a peace and confirmation in that God told me, “I want your counseling work in Korea to be your ministry”. With that confirmation God has continued to bless my schedule with my job back in Alabama each week. I’m incredibly grateful to my boss and work family for keeping me as included as possible and supporting me during my time away. I’m grateful to my clients, new and old, who have chosen to continue to stick with me on this adventure. It’s my prayer to continue to offer more counseling support and services to members in the body of Christ and others I encounter during my time here. 

Would I do this journey over again knowing the struggles my wife and I have faced? Yes. The growth and perspective I have gained here in just year one is something I would’ve never gotten while remaining in my comfort zone in the states and just thinking about it. My faith in God is stronger, my marriage is stronger, and I am stronger. I had so many questions about myself and about everything coming into this journey, questions about how I would adjust, how Elizabeth and I would do with working different schedules, making community, etc. One thing I can confidently say is that God has made a way and He continues to show His love for us in the new grace and provision given each day. I’m not the same person I was as when I left and I’m grateful for that. I know I wasn’t a bad person but I feel like a more refined, grateful version of myself. In separating from my comfort things and people, I have been able to develop a healthier perception of what my connection to them needs to be along with that of my wife. I’m so incredibly proud of her and her growth and work this school year with her kids and the other teachers at their school. She’s been a constant support and rock for me when I’ve needed it and we’ve worked together to make our apartment here a home for the season we’re in. Elizabeth faced various trials and struggles within her work this year and it has been a blessing seeing God use her to minister to staff as well as the students she teaches and persevere. We love and miss our family and friends back home so much and look forward to hanging out and catching up with them soon. We know there’s been life lived back at home and that there’s been lots of things going on for all of them too. If you’ve prayed for us, called, texted, or FaceTimed with us so far, thank you so much. If we haven’t connected during our time here please reach out if you wish! The prayers and support mean more than you know and have been used to help sustain us in the day to day. To God be the glory!

In closing, this experience has and continues to change my life. One thing I told a close friend of mine before leaving when asked about my anxiety related to the trip, was that “If I choose to not go because it’s uncomfortable, it’s a bad reason for not going”. Through this experience my comfort zone has been expanded far more than I could have ever imagined. Trust yourself to respond well in the face of scary situations, transitions, and the unknown. Trust that you will find a way to land on your own two feet. People will have their opinions of you and what you do regardless of the choices you make. Let them. Your life is yours to live and one not to be lived for the approval and comfort of others. If you’re contemplating a decision or change that seems uncertain and scary, think of the courage and growth that could be forged by following through anyway as you see yourself to the other side of it. Don’t let what is predictable and easy keep you from doing the hard things to make you the best you can be. Lean into the discomfort so that what eventually becomes comfortable is more broad then the box you may choose to keep yourself in. You are strong and resilient, give yourself a chance for those traits to shine. May God bless each and every one of you and continue to keep you in good health and good spirits.

Written by: Richard Krebs